My iFauxne Tells the Whole Story

Since my iPhone doesn’t get service in Germany (big fan of that unlocking fee, AT&T, love you long time!), I started to refer to it as my iFauxne, which–conveniently!–sounds exactly the same when you say it out loud.

If you look at the pictures on my camera from the time I’ve lived in Germany, you would gather that I really like big buildings, my friends, and food. All of this is true. But if you look at the photos on my iFauxne, a different picture emerges, one I find highly entertaining.

Because I spend a stupid amount of time on the train, I have a lot of time to read my old text messages and look at the pictures on my iFauxne. Since old texts tend to send me spiraling down a “why did I ever leave my friends and why am I such an idiot about boys” rabbit hole, I usually choose to spend the time between the Hauptbahnhof and Lochhausen looking at my pictures.

If I was to ever lose my phone, and some savvy stranger broke through the passcode, this is what I imagine they would gather about my life.

1) “Wow, this girl has a really promising future as a banana artist!”

IMG_0435

You are right, stranger. I call this one “Workaholic Penguin”.

2) “This girl really likes Salzburg, Austria.”

No, stranger. I just forgot my real camera that day. And, yes, the hills WERE alive.

No, stranger. I just forgot my real camera that day. And, yes, the hills WERE alive.

3) “Can’t she ever remember anything? Half of these pictures are screenshots of emails with directions in them.”

Touche, stranger.

Touche, stranger.

4) “I hope she bought that really hard-hitting issue of Der Speigel.”

Unfortunately, this timeless image will have to be enough.

Unfortunately, this timeless image will have to be enough.

5) “She has really great taste in art.”

Check. It.

Check. It.

6) “Wow, I hope she wasn’t IN that porta-potty.”

Spoiler alert! I was not.

Spoiler alert! I was not.

7) “What an immature sense of humor, strange girl.”

IMG_0390

Tee-hee-hee

8) “That must be her. Future domestic goddess, right there.”

Why, yes, that is me. And I would like a career someday, thank you for asking.

Why, yes, that is me. And I would like a career someday, thank you for asking.

9) “Her dog is adorable. I want him to be my dog.”

Well that's just TOO BAD.

Well that’s just TOO BAD.

10) And lastly, “This girl spends a lot of time on the S-Bahn.”

And you are, again, right. Sigh.

And you are, again, right. Sigh.

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4 thoughts on “My iFauxne Tells the Whole Story

  1. I took almost the exact same picture of that Der Spiegel cover with my phone.

    Why won’t AT&T unlock your phone without a fee? They didn’t charge me a cent to do mine.

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