Since my iPhone doesn’t get service in Germany (big fan of that unlocking fee, AT&T, love you long time!), I started to refer to it as my iFauxne, which–conveniently!–sounds exactly the same when you say it out loud.
If you look at the pictures on my camera from the time I’ve lived in Germany, you would gather that I really like big buildings, my friends, and food. All of this is true. But if you look at the photos on my iFauxne, a different picture emerges, one I find highly entertaining.
Because I spend a stupid amount of time on the train, I have a lot of time to read my old text messages and look at the pictures on my iFauxne. Since old texts tend to send me spiraling down a “why did I ever leave my friends and why am I such an idiot about boys” rabbit hole, I usually choose to spend the time between the Hauptbahnhof and Lochhausen looking at my pictures.
If I was to ever lose my phone, and some savvy stranger broke through the passcode, this is what I imagine they would gather about my life.
1) “Wow, this girl has a really promising future as a banana artist!”
2) “This girl really likes Salzburg, Austria.”
3) “Can’t she ever remember anything? Half of these pictures are screenshots of emails with directions in them.”
4) “I hope she bought that really hard-hitting issue of Der Speigel.”
5) “She has really great taste in art.”
6) “Wow, I hope she wasn’t IN that porta-potty.”
7) “What an immature sense of humor, strange girl.”
8) “That must be her. Future domestic goddess, right there.”
9) “Her dog is adorable. I want him to be my dog.”
10) And lastly, “This girl spends a lot of time on the S-Bahn.”